enough now

 
Today I woke up and thought enough now. Enough of this nonsense, this self-indulgence, enough tears and enough of the blues. Enough oversleeping, enough lip-biting and fidgeting. Enough staring out of rain-stained train windows and enough of this wallowing.

Well, things didn't turn out quite that way. (It's Murphy's Law, isn't it? Bad things coming in clusters, spreading like an ink blot on wet paper.) And so my mother looked at me and said, It'll Get Better. And went on with Look at All the Good Things in Your Life.

And as pep talks go, that wasn't bad at all. Like tearng a plaster off a healed cut. It stings for a while and then you quit rubbing the burning patch of skin and go on with life and forget. Sometimes the scars remain but mostly things pass unnoticed, time rolls on too fast for words to keep up.

(I'm not quite sure what I feel today, I feel a bit sloppy and blurred around the edges, runny eyes and tired skin.)