escapes

"One should be able to buy perspective and consume it intravenously."

Erlend Loe: Naïve. Super.

(I translated this myself from the Finnish translation of the Norwegian original. So it might be a bit off.)

You know the times when life itself just feels impossible? Like everyone else was handed a manual at some point explaining how to exist, and I missed it?

I need perspective and I need meaning. I need to lift myself out of this slump, because by now I've learnt I can't expect anyone else to do it for me.

(I think maybe I need just a few days of complete quiet, I need a few days of complete selfishness. For just a while I need space around me, a cocoon, so I don't have to think about anyone else's problems. I just can't do anything to help anyone right now and it's one of the saddest ways to be. I can barely take care of myself.

So I dream of having a small apartment with white walls and lots of light, a bed large enough for me to spread out my limbs like a starfish, enough food to last me for a while, and books. I could sleep and let my voice go hoarse and emerge when I finally feel human again.)