on learning

See that picture? That's what I wish my life were like right now. Balcony railings to lean against, striped shirts and flowers.

In fact I'm treading through the final exam week of this school year, revising (or thinking about revising while actually being a genuinely great procrastinator) on trains, in cafés, in the library.

And since this is my tenth exam week and the days seem to be running through my fingers like powder, and because I still haven't learnt how to sit down and open my books and shove some smarts into my brain, and because I just want something to do instead of studying French for tomorrow, I thought I'd give you a look into what happens to me during exam week.

Ready? Here we go.

Every time an exam week traipses along, I plan to windmill kick it in the face. I make smug revision timetables and plan on spending hours at the library. I feel confident. I can do this.

Then come the distractions. Non-school books are never as good as during exam week. Baking is never as much fun. The weather couldn't be better for photography. It couldn't be more high a time to clean my room. And the blogs I follow never seem to post quite this much.

Every time. Every single time.

I get through my day going, oh look I have so much time left, easy-peasy, no need to worry, I'll get down to studying in an hour or so.

Suddenly it's ten p.m. and I still haven't opened my psychology book and I realise I've left my notes in my locker at school and I really should sleep if I want to do well in this exam and I cram last-minute information into my head until I fall asleep with my glasses still on and wake up in the morning with dread weighing me down, distractedly trying to study on the train but ending up staring out of the window trying to understand how it came down to this yet again.

Then repeat the following day, because I never learn, do I.