things i know but don't yet understand #4

It's a sad day when you find out that it's not accident or time or fortune, but just yourself that kept things from you. 

Lillian Hellman 

(I know I should be braver and face disappointments with a head held high 

and never ever give up but keep pushing until I succeed. 

But what if I'm not built that way, what if I'm not built to endure? 

How does one become brave after eighteen years of day-to-day cowardice?)