Tuesday 23 August 2011

letters and rain



I received a letter today, from an old friend. (You know the peculiar type of people you might not see in years and yet you still never forget them? That kind of a friend.)

And at the very end of her letter there were the words, You seem to have changed.



A remark, by the tone of it. Not a judgement or condemnation or appraisal. Merely an observation.

And, holding the letter in my hands, I glanced up and caught my eyes in the mirror. And I stood still for a while, just looking at myself and thinking, yes, I really think I have.



I can't bring myself to point out what it is that is different from before.

Maybe I've grown a bit, in confidence and happiness and in knowing what I want.

But, to be quite honest, I have no answers. (And maybe it's this acceptance of not-knowing that is the biggest change?)

Such is life, as I find myself saying more and more often. Small things and sighs to get me by. Vast amounts of rain yesterday evening, the city scrubbed clean, a letter pointing out something I maybe needed to hear.

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