Tuesday, 23 August 2011
letters and rain
I received a letter today, from an old friend. (You know the peculiar type of people you might not see in years and yet you still never forget them? That kind of a friend.)
And at the very end of her letter there were the words, You seem to have changed.
A remark, by the tone of it. Not a judgement or condemnation or appraisal. Merely an observation.
And, holding the letter in my hands, I glanced up and caught my eyes in the mirror. And I stood still for a while, just looking at myself and thinking, yes, I really think I have.
I can't bring myself to point out what it is that is different from before.
Maybe I've grown a bit, in confidence and happiness and in knowing what I want.
But, to be quite honest, I have no answers. (And maybe it's this acceptance of not-knowing that is the biggest change?)
Such is life, as I find myself saying more and more often. Small things and sighs to get me by. Vast amounts of rain yesterday evening, the city scrubbed clean, a letter pointing out something I maybe needed to hear.