"No matter how careful you are, there's going to be the sense you missed something, the collapsed feeling under your skin that you didn't experience it all. There's that fallen heart feeling that you rushed right through the moments where you should've been paying attention."
Chuck Palahniuk
(This is something I've been thinking about lately, what with starting my final year in school and applying to universities abroad. The things I am thinking about leaving behind seem to grow in importance and at the same time I need to face my inadequacy at truly appreciating it all.
But maybe this is something we all need to accept? That we will never feel as though we have lived enough, no matter how many things we do and no matter how much we pay attention to them. And maybe feeling as though we should have done it all better doesn't mean we've actually done it wrong. Maybe this self-doubt and hopeless nostalgia are simply natural, inevitable downsides of being human.)
Universities abroad? Where you thinking of going?
ReplyDeleteAnd I know exactly what you mean. I sometimes feel nostalgic as well and wonder how things would have turned out if I did certain things differently.
But I guess there's no point in wondering about what 'could've' been. Instead we should think of what 'could be'.
But ya, maybe it's only us being human. :)
xxx